


Grief

by pidgance



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Alternate Universe - Military, Angst, Funerals, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-29
Updated: 2016-08-29
Packaged: 2018-08-11 16:44:11
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,096
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7900213
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pidgance/pseuds/pidgance
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Pidge deals with the loss of both her brother and father.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Grief

The clouds wandered lazily across the blue sky above her.

She hadn't made it through the service. The place had been too packed. Multiple veterans from Dad and Matt's regiment crammed into one tiny church. She'd fled the church the second she'd finished her speech, tears flooding her eyes. There'd been a yell of, “Pidge!” from Lance who had quickly been silenced by Hunk, not wanting to disturb the service more than it already had been.

Her fingers aimlessly tugged out strands of grass around where she sat, hidden in the corner of the churchyard. It shouldn't be long now until it was over. She would feign illness and skip the reception. Anymore of those sympathetic stares and words of condolences and she just knew she would snap.

Yes, I know you were close with Matt during military training. Every damn person was. He was a nice fucking guy, Yes, I know Sam Holt was an inspiration to his nation and I already know I should be proud to be his daughter. No, I am not handling my loss well so can you shut the fuck up already.

She could imagine it all in her head already. Every second spent thinking about the empty spaces in her life which her dad and Matt once filled just made her inch closer and closer to finally snapping. The sooner she could engulf herself in her school work the better. It was a wanted distraction. One that could chase away the ache in her heart.

“All too much for you as well?” someone asked to the right of her, sitting himself down beside her.

Pidge recognized the man immediately. It was impossible not to due to the immense amount of media coverage he had gotten. She might even go as far as to say she despised him.

Takashi Shirogane, known as Shiro for short, he'd been one of the other soldiers captured alongside her dad and Matt. The lone survivor. A cruel bitterness that twister in her heart and whispered in her told her that it should've been him that died. Not her father. And certainly not her brother.

This was her first time meeting him in person. She'd spoken to him before, over video calls in which he popped up behind her brother and teased him over his “cute little sister.” Since the news of her father and brother's death and his return to the country she'd been locked up in her room. Refusing to come out even when he came over to pay his respects. Her mother, perhaps under even larger amounts of stress and grievance than her would shout through the door telling her of how selfish she was being, how people just wanted to help. Katie didn't need the help, nor did she want it. She wanted to be alone.

“Felt sick,” Pidge said through gritted teeth, she wanted to at least attempt to be civil.

“Hm,” Shiro replied thoughtfully, following her actions and tugging out grass himself, “No-one expects you to be strong, Katie. You're allowed to cry. You're allowed to show weakness.”

Pidge scowled, fingers stopping mid tug on a blade of grass.

“That's rich coming from someone like you,” she resumed her plucking at the greenery, “You're as stoic as ever.”

She noticed the man beside her stiffen slightly. Inwardly she scolded herself for being such a prick. Other people were allowed to grieve her family after all. Not just her. And they all had their different ways of showing it. She should've just get her damn mouth shut.

“Sorry,” she said quietly, letting her guilt be evident in the way she kept her eyes downcast, “That was out of line.”

“It's alright. You're allowed to be angry,” Shiro's voice cracked, pulling her attention towards him, He wore a sad smile on his face, eyes crinkling at the side. He looked like he was going to cry.

Fuck.

“What gave me the right to survive and not them after all?” Shiro added in a whisper, breaking off eye contact with her and letting his sad smile turn into a frown.

Katie watched him silently. Noticing the stiffness of his jaw, the wrinkles beside his eyes that shouldn't be there forming already on a man of his age. But most of all she notice the regret deep within his eyes. He regretted not saving them. Suddenly everything negative she'd ever thought came back to bite her, hard. How she thought someone as kind and thoughtful couldn't feel remorse and guilt towards what happened to her family baffled her to the bone. There was no doubt of his survivors guilt, she'd just been to pissed off at the world to consider it existed.

All the emotions she'd been keeping locked up inside came bubbling up to the surface all at once. Before she could stop it a wail erupted from her and her body was shook with the sobs that erupted from her diaphragm.

“I'm sorry,” she cried, letting her body spasm and her shoulders hunch forward.

Shiro stared at her in both shock and worry. His hand stretched out hopelessly, obviously confused on how to console the crying girl. Whatever he'd expected, it hadn't been this. He settled for placing a hand on her shoulder, giving it a reassuring squeeze.

“Hey,” he said, in between her chokes of despair, “You don't have to apologize. It's not your fault.”

This only made Katie wail louder. Shiro retracted his hand, clearly concerned that he'd managed to make the situation worse.

“And-” Pidge cough out through the phlegm and tears mixing in her throat, “It's not your fault either.”

Shiro's eyes widened.

“I'm,” Pidge continued, sniffing and hick-ing the entire time, “I'm sorry I acted like it was. But it wasn't. It's not your fault Shiro. So- So please don't apologize!”

She was shocked into silence by the large arms that engulfed her and found herself have sprawled into Shiro's lap as he tugged her in towards his chest. His chest voice a fell, mostly steady despite the occasional hitch of his breath as the veteran tried to hold back his tears. She calmed her cries as she listened to the steady beat of his heart. He was alive. And so was she. As long as they both were alive, Matt and her dad would be too.

Katie let her body soften into the embrace, shifting herself into a more comfortable position which they both stayed in until the sound of the service ending and people filtering from the church peeled them away from each other.

**Author's Note:**

> i have fallen in love with this ship and i wanted to contribute because i see all the hardwork and effort other shippers put in so this is just dedicated to every single shidge shipper out there.  
> i just i have so many aus and headcanons for this pair so i hope you enjoy! sorry it's sad. hopefully i'll write more happy stuff for this pair in the future!! <3


End file.
